never present

Sorry to disappoint, but I will likely not be returning here. I've been having new health struggles (involuntary twitching, dropping things, trembling, etc.) on top of what I had. I have also been carrying huge burdens of guilt, shame, and self-hate that I've had difficulty talking about (hence the many upload attempts that I have deleted after).

I'm taking steps to heal, but intrusive thoughts are relentless and EXTREMELY difficult to curb. They're hard to talk about in fear that I will be wrong, and my thoughts are actually correct. Unfortunately, there is not much I can do except acknowledge the thoughts exist and that I have no answers. Regardless, I don't feel like a victim and won't forgive myself for failing everyone. I promise to be better, and it has and will haunt me daily.

With that said, I must take my leave. To anyone reading, I hope for only good things for you. If you are struggling with the same thing, please seek help before it gets bad. ❤️👋